Look, today was supposed to be a productive day. You had PLANS.  A trip downtown, because you’d heard that the lines at city hall were shorter in the middle of the week. Maybe you need to file your Form 10-Oh-7-C with the local government and have to show your house title, car purchase receipt, and birth certificate, all of which you keep in the locked top drawer of your filing cabinet you bought at Office City Warehouse 10 years ago. But lo and behold, the key to that drawer was eaten by your roommate’s pet gerbil 6 weeks ago and they forgot to tell you. Wouldn’t be so bad, except the gerbil died right after and your roommate flushed it down the toilet in order to give it a viking style funeral, complete with a set of burning roman candles to simulate the firey arrows.

The bathroom hasn’t been the same since.

So here you are, facing down a jammed shut super secure  Max-O-Plus fire resistant filing cabinet, and you’ve blown what little paid time off you had saved up at work to get these errands done today. So how are you going to get into that locked filing cabinet without a key? Well, we’d obviously recommend you call us for one of our locksmiths to come out and give you a hand so that you can get on with your day. Simple and stress free But maybe you want to try something...different. Something less simple. Something a little more outside the box.

Well, here’s some ideas. And we should note, we’ve checked with our lawyers and you should absolutely not do any of these, just call us. You’re already on a locksmith’s website, why would you want to try any of these ideas?

But we know you’re going to try anyways, so here we go

• Shake it vigorously You’ve probably tried this method already, but maybe you should try it again. Grab the sides of the filing cabinet, or maybe just tightly lace your fingers firmly around the handles of the filing cabinet drawer. Plant your feet firmly, put a little bend in your knees. Make sure your hips are firmly set, with maybe a slight twist to them. Now, using your entire body mass, shake that thing for all your worth. You’re not doing it right unless the filing cabinet is coming up off the floor on at least one end. You should hear the items inside shaking about, probably coming loose, and something inside has almost certainly broken. Bonus points if you now scream a few words your mother would be ashamed to hear you say. This will likely not work, but you’ll work up a sweat and feel like you’re doing something. You’re getting hands on and taking action! Certainly this is more productive than picking up the phone and calling us, one of the most trusted locksmith businesses in the Greater Cincinnati area?

• Get a brick Or maybe a rock. Either way, something big and heavy, preferably with enough heft to it that you need to use both hands and if you lift it up over your head you’re taking a fifty-fifty shot of dropping it on yourself and getting a concussion so severe you think you’re suddenly that villain King Tut from the old Adam West Batman TV show. The goal here is to channel your inner caveman or cavewoman, and really go to town on that thing. Just bash it up the sides and on the top. You should see large dents forming and flecks of paint coming loose. Chances are, you’re bending the filing cabinet in such a way that even if it weren’t locked, the drawer would never come out. On the other hand, you’re following in the hallowed tradition of our prehistoric ancestors who used rocks just like this to charge after and kill their sabertooth prey. We’ve been in business since 1933, you’re using a “Bash thing I don’t like with heavy rock” method that dates back millions of years, what do we know?

Really though, if you’re locked out of a filing cabinet, a safe, or even your home or car, don’t try to get through the lock on your own. Give us a call today and our staff will be ready and waiting to help in whatever way we can.